Showing posts with label tom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tom. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Tom's 2004 Journal - Part 3

The last part of Tom's 2004 Journal!
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Sunday – October 31, 2004


Last week I mentioned one of the reasons I wrote this journal because it helped me cope with the situation.  For that reason I have started another journal.  I had to start it after the third straight week of defeat for the Purdue Football team.  Enough said.  If you want to know more than you can subscribe to my Athletic Journal that I sub-titled “I Root for Losers”.  It is only $9.95 per month.  Be prepared to pay for many months.  Football still has November then we start with Basketball.  Purdue basketball is also in for a long season.  Of course that overlaps the NFL playoffs.  I am sure my Indianapolis Colts will find a way to choke on the hype.  Since we are talking about choking – how about my Cubbies!  I loved growing up in Northern Indiana during the 70’s and 80’s but unfortunately I was exposed to programs that lack winning; the Boilermakers, the Cubs, the Bears, the Colts.  I am going to have the Chinese symbol for “loser” tattooed on my forehead.

I also mentioned last week that I had returned home for one week.  Although it was only 7 days I started to feel like it was an eternity.  Why?  Well for three days I thought China had experienced a cultural change while I was gone.  But fortunately, on Thursday, reality set in.  I finally observed a scene that I witness at least once per day while I ride in a taxi - back and forth to work.  What is it you ask?  Well on Thursday I finally saw a man urinating on the side of the sidewalk.  I see it every day – man – woman – child – it doesn’t matter.  They’re out there relieving themselves.  If you see one person urinating then you’re also going to see people stretching.  It is odd that you see people stretching on the sidewalk.  It sort of a yoga routine with a little bit of kung fu intertwined.  It is mainly older folks and they are probably just doing a routine that they learned in the China Communist culture.  Discipline is a large part of the China culture.  Let me share some more observations.  Attached to my hotel is a very popular Chinese Restaurant.  Everyday at shift change there is unique occurrence.  The restaurant employee’s line up in front of the restaurant and they perform marching drills.  They march up and down the sidewalk.  They march in cadence while their team leader marks the beat by blowing a whistle.  The employees perform a high-step march with their heels clicking and their arms-a-swinging.  The hotel bellboys and maintenance staff do the same routine.  It is odd by American standards but very routine over here.

Well, its time for the BIG NEWS of the week.  Sunday has been pretty nice here.  It is rare that I ever see sunshine.  Today wasn’t sunny but it was still was worth the while to spend it outdoors.  That reminds me.  The time is changing in Ohio this weekend.  China overlaps 5 time zones but the country only uses one time.  In other words, the time on the East coast is the same as the West coast.  The time does not change either.  It is completely dark at 5:30 p.m. but the sun is shining through my bedroom window before 6:00 a.m. every morning.  Sorry, but I digressed from the BIG NEWS.  Since it was a nice day, I decided to take a bike ride.  Went down to the garage and my bike has been stolen!  It is gone!  I am in the process of contacting the US Embassy, the UN Consulate, the President of China - Hu Jintao, and the ancestors of the former chairman of the People's Republic - Mao Zedong .  When I return to the US in November I am going to be contacting the Delphi Strategy Board and have them put pressure on the Chinese Government to return my bike.  I will insist that Delphi threaten to pull its operations from China until my bike is returned.  I have 20 days to interrogate all citizens of Shanghai looking for the culprit.  Let’s see…. 17 million people in 20 days.  That is 850,000 people per day...850,000 per day…OK, maybe my $35 isn’t worth the interrogations but I am still going to pursue the Delphi threats.

Since I didn’t have the bike to ride I decided to walk to my favorite restaurant for a burger.  It was really nice.  The bar balcony overlooked the soccer field and the cricket field.  I spent 3 hours watching two sports that I have never watched live before.  It was very interesting.  I didn’t plan on staying 3 hours but I had a communication issue.  When I arrived it was still brunch.  I didn’t really plan on breakfast but I went ahead and ordered a breakfast burrito.  I also ordered a small breakfast roll as a side item.  About 20 minutes later the waitress came back with the menu and said that they were out of the item and I should pick something else.  I chose the almond pancakes.  I haven’t had pancakes in a while.  About 20 minutes later the waitress delivered my breakfast burritos AND almond pancakes.  Everything but the small breakfast roll.  I guess that was what she was trying to tell me they were out of.  She probably thought I was the typical American who loved to overeat.  Not to ruin the myth of the fat Americans, I ate both breakfasts – but it took 2 hours…does that count for anything?

Well I guess I missed Halloween.  It is hard to keep track of holidays over here.  Friday night when I was walking home from the bus stop I went past the Green Villas.  These are the high priced homes that the expatriates stay.  These homes rent for about 5-10 thousand per month.  Typically the companies that the employees work for pay for the rent thus the reason a lot of companies can’t afford expatriates.  Anyway, as I walked past their reception hall I heard a program going on.  Adults were speaking on the PA system and little kids were gleefully cheering.  I wondered what was happening.  It didn’t dawn on me until the next day that it was a Halloween party and the party was the start of the beggar’s night.  I wonder if they are going to have an Election Day party?  One of the benefits about being in China is that I am not exposed to the political campaigning that is occurring. 

Well, this concludes this week’s journal.  I have some work to finish up and I started a new book.  Next week I will provide pointers in preparation for the next person that will replace me on this assignment.  They still haven’t found a replacement yet for the Purchasing manager.  It is not for the lack of trying.  They have interviewed 9 people and yet to find a new one.  Someone will definitely be coming over here as a replacement.  It might be you…yes, you!  Don’t be thinking it’s not you.  Everyone is a candidate.

Last minute addition.

On Monday on the way to work, I was riding in a newer taxi.  It had “captivated advertising”.  In other words, they displayed video commercials in the back of the front-seat headrests.  I haven’t been in many taxis in the US but I am sure that technology is also there.  But what stuck me as odd was one of the commercials was advertising a website.  This website focused on teaching English to the Chinese.  Within the ad were sayings that were used as examples.  The instructor would state the phrase in Chinese and then state it in English.  The passenger/viewer of the commercial was to repeat and learn along while riding in the taxi.  Pretty ingenious but the phrases was what I found amusing.  The three phrases used doing the lesson were:
1.     “An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth”. 
2.     “Talk to the hand” 
3.     “You have been steam rolled”

From this lesson, the Chinese has now formed an impression of the American Culture.  Do they think that these are three critical phrases to learn if visiting the US or talking to an English speaking person?

That reminds me of another humorous story that occurred last week.  I was talking to one of my employees, Xie.  This is the person I referenced earlier that did not have an American name and I nicknamed him “Shoe”.  I have later learned that his named is pronounced “Shae”.  He did have an American name, Shane, but he dropped it as many Chinese had a hard time pronouncing it.  One would think that if you could say “Shae” then one could also say “Shane” but I guess not.  Anyway, he was having a problem with my name.  He asked me if I preferred “Tom” or “Thomas”.  I sign everything Thomas at work so I am sure that is why he was confused.  I told him I preferred “Tom”.  I informed him that Tom was a shortened name of Thomas.  I also stated that I would answer to anything.  He immediately said, “What about Redneck”?  That shocked me and I started to laugh out loud uncontrollably.  When I regained my composure, I explained to him that was probably a name that should not be used to address someone from the US (Europeans OK but not US citizens).  I went on to explain, although most of my friends are rednecks, that it is used more in jest and humor than anything.  His understanding of Redneck was it was a person who lived outside of a city, like a farmer.  Well he does make a good point!

Until next week.
Have a good day
Without Wax
Tom

 

 

Sunday – November 8, 2004


Twelve more days

Until next week, which will be my last.
Have a good day
Without Wax
Tom


Sunday – November 15, 2004

Last week I noted that this would be my last journal entry and I think I will keep my word.  I plan to write one more entry to my journal on my flight home but I won’t share the entry.  It will be a personal summation of my experience of my 3 months in Shanghai.

I am so excited about the thought of returning home and seeing everyone.  I already have a full agenda the first week back.  I am taking the week off to spend with Shelly and Natalie.  One day I will have meetings with my colleagues at the NCR Country Club to discuss the activities that I missed regarding our club hosting the 2005 US Senior Open (Be sure to order your tickets).  Another day I will be traveling to Ft. Wayne for a small gathering of Purdue fans where the keynote speaker is Joe Tiller (Purdue’s Football Coach) and hopefully he can bring the Old Oaken Bucket so I can have my picture taken with it and the Coach.  I will be spending two more days in Indiana for Thanksgiving.  I think I referenced in my first journal entry that I really looked forward to this year’s Thanksgiving - and I still do.

On the other hand, it saddens me to leave the assignment in China.  Again, I have enjoyed the experience here in Shanghai.  The people of China, the city of Shanghai, and the Delphi employees of the Asia Pacific region have created great memories that I am sure I will cherish for the rest of my life.

In terms of work, there is still a lot to accomplish.  When I look at the work yet to be done, I begin to think I haven’t done anything.  I have to take a step back and look at our team’s progress in the last 3 months in order to see the positive progress we have made.  I truly believe I have made a positive impact but I will be the first to admit that another 3-6 months of leadership, mentoring, and coaching is still needed.  I will have to determine how I can continue what I started but I must do it from North America.  Another 3-month assignment is not an option for me but maybe a longer-term assignment may work in 2 or 3 years when I could possibly take my family.

My journal this week will be a fun one - I hope.  I have generated a list of signs that indicate that it is time for me to come home.  I will not try to explain some of my comments but you may ask me when you see me next.

But before my list, I have a couple of loose ends to tie-up.  First, I read in the paper today an interesting article.  Top-notch housekeepers (able to speak English, cook western meals, and be educated beyond secondary school) now have the earning power that matches the earning potential of white-collar workers in Shanghai.  These housekeepers (and white collar workers) can now earn upwards of $363 per month.

Secondly, my bike was probably not stolen.  I think it was confiscated.  One of the things I was going to write about previously, but failed, was the “crack-down” on bike riders.  I had noticed at intersections that the police would write tickets to bike riders as they waited for the lights to change.  I was astonished that the police would ignore the automobile traffic violations but “stalked” the bike riders.  It so intrigued me that I asked at work why the policemen would be writing tickets to innocent looking bike riders.  They informed me that it was probably un-registered bikes.  I guess that bikes need to be registered.  It cost $1 per year to register your bike and you get a little license plate to hang on your bike.  I realized for the first time that I had been riding around town illegally but I was sure that they would not stop a Westerner.  I didn’t think that they would want to upset their American guests and I doubt if they wanted the communication hassle.  What I didn’t realize was that they also patrol for bikes that are not registered when the bikes are stored.  Oh well, I wasn’t bringing it home anyway but the co-worker I was going to give it to no longer has it coming his way.

Speaking of co-workers, my admin, Jessica, finally passed her driving test.  She had failed twice previously.  I finally told her that she needed to pass so that she could drive me to the airport as her last official act.  When she passed, she was excited to inform me that she could now drive me to the airport.  Only one small issue, neither one of us has access to a car.  She told me on Friday that it is her dream to visit America.  I keep forgetting that it will always be hard for some people in China to come to the US due to their income.  A plane fare would cost several months salary.  I hope that someday she can realize that dream.

Finally, the last item before my list.  I better explain the “Without wax” comment.  I am actually going to send out two versions of my journal.  Everyone but my wife will get this one.  Hers will not have this paragraph explaining the “without wax” comment.  She still thinks that she can figure it out.  I’ll just let her “cocky little self” figure it our on her own.  Here goes…When Spanish sculptures would make a mistake while creating a sculpture they would cover their mistake by filling in the mistake with wax.  If a sculpture were created without error it would be advertised as “without wax” or true or pure.  According to those who believe the wax theory, sincere must mean "without wax" because in Spanish sin means "without" and in Latin cera means, "wax."  So in other words, I was ending my journal entries with “Sincerely, Tom”.  Probably anti-climatic, but it is amazing what one learns when one takes time to understand the origins of certain words.  It has been so hard to explain words to my Chinese co-workers.  Words that we use everyday but don't really know their origins.  Redneck, Uptown Girl, Rave Review, 7-Up, ad-hoc, sincerely, etc.

Well, thanks for listening to me for 12 weeks.  I hoped you learned something about the Chinese culture and I hope I didn’t bore you with personal ramblings.  By the way, I was never “suicidal”.  I was depressed for a while.  One of the things that I learned about myself is that I need to have control of my destiny or actions.  I hold myself personally accountable for my actions and my work scope.  When I feel that I cannot control an activity I get very stressed.  Probably not what my bosses want to hear but maybe it will help them understand me better.  It was hard being 5,000 miles away from activities that involved me but I could not contribute or address - I have to work on that!

Drum Roll please……….

Why I know it is time for me to go home and stay for a while…

1.   I was starting to enjoy ice cubes in my beer because it was actually making it more cool and refreshing
2.   I was actually enjoying beer!
3.   When taking a taxi, I would give driving directions to the driver at every intersection whether he needed them or not
4.   I was able to pick up any type of food using just my chopsticks... even peanuts and rice.
5.   Ping Pong was becoming my favorite sport
6.   I no longer wait in line, but I would go immediately to the front of the line.
7.   I would stop at the top or bottom of an escalator to plan my day.
8.   It was becoming exciting to see if I could get on the elevator before anyone could get off the elevator.
9.   I was no longer wondering how someone who earns US$ 363.00 per month could drive a Mercedes.
10. I started to agree that it really does save time to stand and retrieve your hand luggage while the plane is on final approach.
11. I could shake my hands almost perfectly dry before wiping them on my trousers.
12. Chicken feet with rice was beginning to sound just fine.
13. I actually believed everything I read in the local newspaper.
14. I started to develop an uncontrollable urge to follow people carrying small flags.
15. When listening to the pilot prove he could not speak English, I no longer wondered if he could understand the air traffic controller.
16. I was regarding it as part of the dining experience when the waiter correctly repeats your order and the cook would make something completely different.
17. I bought more knick-knacks than my grandmother ever did.
18. I was not surprised when three men with a ladder would show up to change a light bulb.
19. I would blow my nose or spit in public without even thinking of others
20. I started to look over people's shoulder to see what they were reading
21. I started to leave tables without picking up or pushing in my chair
22. I started to think it was no longer odd that taxi drivers would honk their horn at people because they were in his way as he was driving down the sidewalk
23. I had no guilt about looking for five minutes to find 10 RMB despite 15 people waiting in line behind me
24. I started to grow my pinky fingernail an inch long
25. I started to ride around on my bicycle ringing my bell for unknown reasons
26. I got my first case of bronchitis and I have never smoked a cigarette in my life.
27. The idea of seeing how this place will look at Expo 2010 actually started to appeal to me.
28. I realized that car accidents had become a source of humor.
29. I was starting to forget that the other person needed to finish speaking before I could start
30. I was burping in any situation and didn’t care.
31. I started to think that Pizza Hut was a high-class restaurant and was worth waiting 30 minutes just to get a table
32. When having conversations with my family I started leaving unnecessary words out of sentences and ended up talking like an idiot
33. I have learned how to detect someone is in a hurry behind me, and now have the ability to not only walk very slowly but also grow eyes in the back of my head, so when they start to overtake on the right hand side, I would automatically cut in and walk very slowly directly in front of them
34. I would watch taxi drivers pick their noses while stuck in traffic. Instead of feeling disgusted, I actually admired their technique
35. I saw people outside wearing shower caps in the rain, and instead of thinking what a freak; I actually understood the practicality behind it.
36. My eating manners in restaurants are now totally shot. Elbows on tables and spitting food out onto my plate are now the norm. 
37. I learned how to jump the line because the man left 2 inches between himself and the person in front of them.
38. I finally decided to eat at McDonalds to put some solids into my body.
39. I was watching an American movie on HBO, with sub-titles, and was trying to learn Chinese that way.
40. I was beginning to like to watch BBC News World on TV.
41. I ate a kebab on the street and called it "Cat on a stick" and it didn’t bother me.
42. I was beginning to think that a $3 shirt was a rip-off.
43. A co-worker tapped me on the shoulder to talk to me, and I said "Bu Yan" (no thank you!) out of habit.
44. I was thinking about offering to sell my own watch to a $2 Rolex street vendor, to fend him off.
45. The vendor on the street selling bootleg DVD’s would recognize me walking his way and have a selection of kid videos waiting for my review
46. When my co-workers would speak in Chinese but throw an English word into the mix, I would think that I was starting to learn the language until I realized that it was just an English word and not my mind doing the translating
47. I started to think that it was odd that Americans eat yogurt with a spoon and not a straw
48. I stopped thinking that I saw Hugh Hefner at the store just because I saw a man shopping in his pajamas and slippers on weekends.
49. I have developed calluses on my two chopstick fingers
50. Hearing the few Chinese words that sound very offensive in the US so often that I had stopped jerking my head in the direction of the speaker
51. The anticipation of getting home and using the instant messaging function of my cell phone is too much for me to handle
52. Realizing that the Purdue football season will be over by the time I get home (Going to West Point to school doesn’t sound so bad now)
53. When talking about the Purdue Football game versus Ohio State, I had actually referred to the sport as “cabbage football” so I would not confuse them with European football
54. I realized that I was probably the only American to have gained weight while living in China
55. I had to resort to reading the same book twice since there were no other entertainment options
56. I realized that there were no other Adam Sandler movies left to view on HBO

See you REAL soon
Without Wax
Tom

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Tom's 2004 Journal - Part 1

In 2004, Tom was travelling a lot to China. During the fall, he was here for 3 months, with only one trip home. It was hard, as Natalie was only 2 at the time. Now that we have lived over here, it is amazing to read what it was like even just those few short years ago! Of course, some things have not changed! Generally, things are better. The most surprising thing though was that Tom actually wrote this. Very eloquent for a Benton Central boy. It is rather long, but I recommend taking a few minutes and reading through. We thought it would be fun to publish this old journal for our friends to read through. This is Part 1 of 3. Enjoy!

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Old Man Tom

As you recall, I am an old man (just turned 43 last week) in an older man's body that tries to play basketball twice per week.

Friday, I went to an acupuncturist to try and fix an arch issue and a neck issue.

They put 12 needles in my neck; 3 in my right hand; and 10 in my arch.

Application of the needles in my neck and hand were painless. The needles in my arch stung as they were inserted. Doctor warned me that it would hurt since the feet are very sensitive.

The concept is rather easy.
The body heals itself. An example is if you cut yourself, it will heal 100%. If you cut it a second time in the same spot, it will only heal 97% - and so on and so on. Eventually your body will stopping trying to heal it because it will think that it is supposed to be cut. Acupuncture forces an injury in the area of pain which forces the body to start to heal that area

Here is the process.
I had to lay on the table on my side. They put the needles in my neck first. Then my hand and finally my feet. The needles in my hand were needed as there are a couple of points in the hand "connected" to the neck. The needles are 4 1/2 inches in length and varies in diameter.
After he put all the needles in he then swirled/spun the needles while in my skin. After that he was done. I had to stay there with the needles inserted for 15 minutes. A nurse came in and swirled/spun them again. She left again and then returned in another 15 minutes to remove them.


That was it.

Doctor instructed me to visualize the pain in my neck and my feet and let the pain flow through my body and out my fingers and toes. Pretty corny but I did it and I could feel the pain leave my arch and neck when I did it. I did NOT feel it travel through my body and out the fingers and toes.

Doctor said it would take 2 or 3 treatments to fix my severity of injury (minor). I have to admit, my neck and my arch has been pain-free for 30 hours now. This is great since I have had this pain in my arch for 4 weeks and in my neck for 5 weeks. I even played basketball this morning which typically leads to a great amount of pain for several days in my feet. Today, I ran well - played well - all without any pain. Even 12 hours later I can walk up and down the stairs with no issues.

All in all - pretty amazing

I have two friends who had a co-worker and a father quit smoking via acupuncture with no relapse (both over 1 year cold turkey). Previously, they had tried every trick in the book to quit.

Friday, July 6, 2007

How long was Michael Jordan’s retirement?

Ask my golf buddies in Dayton – they will confirm that I had announced my retirement from golf 328 days ago.

But this week I decided to take a vacation day and go golfing with Shelly. Only in China, does one have to take a vacation day on July 4th (actually that would be the case in any country but the U.S.). I didn’t really have the urge to golf. I had a greater curiosity to try out the new golf clubs that Shelly and I purchased about a month ago. Shelly and I each purchased the latest model of Callaway gold clubs - knock-offs for about $150

I had been curious on how they would perform. Would they break? Would they having the same striking capability as my old set?

Well, I am glad to report that they are built very solidly. I know three things for certain; 1. the hosel is strong; 2. the toe of the club head is solid; 3. the shaft can withstand high G-forces.

Shelly and I ended up only playing 9 holes. We really weren’t prepared for the round of golf. First, it was tremendously HOT. Secondly, I didn’t bring any suntan lotion to protect my scalp. Third, we probably didn’t have time to finish 18 holes. Finally, I didn’t have enough golf balls to finish another 9 holes.

I better get to the point before Shelly does but Shelly beat me fair and square. I was even playing from the women’s tees. She out drove me, out hit me on the fairway, but I probably beat her once we got around the green chipping and putting. I was very proud of her game because she hadn’t played in over a year. Matter of fact, with a year’s rust we both walked to the tee-box without going to the driving range or even the practice putting green. Shelly did really well. My game yesterday reminded me why I had retired 328 days previous. But I had fun and I will play again.

As I indicated previously, the next time I will be better prepared. I need to buy some balls, a golf glove, some tees, and bring proper golf attire. They were not going to let me play because I was not wearing the proper golf outfit. The course requires a “golf shirt with a collar and sleeves”. I guess my Tommy Bahama golf shirt was not appropriate. It is odd because a Tommy Bahama golf shirt is probably more formal than a traditional golf shirt. It has a collar and buttons down the front - top to bottom. They told me that I had to change. I argued briefly but they said they would give me a shirt to wear instead. They brought me a long-sleeved turtle neck shirt. I went into the locker room to change. I couldn’t get it over my shoulders. I was ticked so I went back out and said that I wasn’t going to wear the shirt. Told them that I was leaving and to put the clubs in my car. Well, the starter quickly got permission that I could wear my own shirt this time but next time I had to comply. It is funny because not allowing me to play due to my shirt was similar to telling someone that they could not be admitted to a business casual dinner because they wore a jacket and tie. But that is China – rules are rules and you don’t break the rules

I'm back with a short story

A funny thing happened at lunch today.

I mentioned before that employees play ping-pong at lunch. The talent and skill are very good. I never play but I enjoy watching. There are always about 10 players waiting to rotate into the game. The table is right outside my office area. Today I was walking though the playing area and someone slammed the ball towards their opponent in play. The opposing player could not return the slam. I was watching and saw the action develop. The ping-pong ball was flying thru the air heading straight for my head (I was walking about 10 feet behind one of the players). Without breaking stride or showing any expression I calmly reached up with one hand and snagged the ball in mid-flight despite its very high rate of velocity. As I initially grabbed the ball I said to myself that people should be impressed by my skill and coordination. That was a short-lived thought because one-second later – the scenario changed. Oh, I still caught the ball but I also crushed the ball in my hand during the process.

Now there I was with the crushed ball in my hand with everyone looking at me. Yes, they were impressed with my athletic prowess but they also wanted their ball back. I panicked and quickly threw the crushed ball back to them without breaking my original stride.

When the ball landed on the table with a thud (instead of a ping) they all went “uh?” They interpreted my action as a sign of dis-satisfaction and the game quickly disbanded. Well, as of a result of their action I had to stop and apologize. I told them it was an accident and that they could keep playing. I think they understood but I guess they only had one ball – a flat one at that point.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

My “Hoosier License” has been renewed

Believe it or not but I just listened to the latest Mellencamp album for the first time this week. Most of you know that I am a huge Mellencamp fan. To wait for three months after one of his albums had been released is unheard of. That just illustrates how my life has changed and new priorities are in place. I listened to the songs this past weekend on Shelly’s Zune (very cool device). I liked it but couldn’t really focus on it – music or lyrics. I asked Shelly to burn a CD with the album on it so I could listen to it riding back and forth to work. I am usually on the phone during the ride so I really don’t have a great opportunity to listen to it but I decided I was going to take time.

The Mellencamp album is called Freedom Road. Mellencamp has been anti-Bush for about 6 years now. Too political for my taste but I respect his opinion. Matter of fact, my brother Tim has had his fill of Mellencamp and doesn’t care to listen to his music anymore. I think that is a little extreme but then again my brother has a hard time keeping long-term relationships (just joking brother).

Well this morning I gave the CD to the driver. He ejected the “best of Michael Bolten” CD and inserted mine. Since I didn’t really listen to it I didn’t realize what was about to happen. You see, my driver probably thought it was odd that I gave him a CD to play after 4 months our driver/passenger relationship.

Mellencamp’s lyrics are definitely about America and the need to get back to grass-root beliefs, values, and politics. About the second or third song titled “We are Americans” or something close to that.

Here is an excerpt from the lyrics

I like my heroes
To be honest and strong
I wear t-shirts
And blue jeans
I try to understand
All the cultures of this world
I'm an American from the Midwest

When I speak I have a southern drawl
I mind my manners most of the time
When you come down here
Stop and stay hello
I'm an American from south of the Mason Dixon line

[Chorus]
I'm an American, I'm an American
I respect you and your point of view
I'm an American, I'm an American
And I wish you good luck with whatever you do
I'm an American, I'm an American

The chorus is repeated several times during the song. Since my driver understands minimal English, I assume that he only understands the word “American” from the lyrics. I know he understands the word “American”. So to him this is what he heard

Noise noise American, noise noise American
Noise noise noise noise noise noise noise
Noise noise American, noise noise American
Noise noise noise noise noise noise noise
Noise noise American, noise noise American

He probably thought I gave him some pro-American propaganda and was trying to convert him to the Western ways of life. I wonder what he really thought of the album. A big clue probably was when we arrived to the office. He ejected the CD and gave it back to me. I guess he didn’t care to listen to it while he sat in the car for 12 hours waiting for me to leave for home

Monday, April 2, 2007

Is the war over?

The other night I was making a quick shopping stop at the local Carrefour. I was carrying a hand-basket and out of the corner of my eye I saw this quick maneuver by someone. I quickly looked over and saw this man who looked to be about 45 years old approaching me from about 6 feet away. Approaching is putting the term mildly. I managed to watch this man come at me with his cart and ram my right leg. I watched the cart hit my leg and looked up at the man with a bewildering look. Maybe I was looking for an apologetic look. Instead I received this grin…this evil grin. This man felt as if he took down the American empire all himself.

I decided that he could win this battle and I quickly returned to my shopping. I glanced a few times over my shoulder and saw him still standing there with his cart looking at me with great pride of his accomplishment.

Very odd!

Thursday, March 8, 2007

Tom's Redneck Pants Alterations

Most of you have heard that Tom has lost weight, but you probably haven't had a chance to see what he had done to "fix" his dress pants which are now way too big. I'd like to believe that this was just a temporary fix, but he really doesn't see the problem with them! When he came home today from work, I made him pull his sweater and low and behold, there were his pants with self-made pleats! Just like any Kentucky redneck would do! Don't get me wrong, I am proud of Tom who has lost 20-25 lbs. But, really...


Monday, January 29, 2007

George W. Bushisms

For Christmas this year, my wonderful "democratic" sister-in-law gave me a calendar where each day of the year has a quote from George W. Bush.

The quotes are meant to be funny. For instance, today's quote is "It is not Reaganesque to support a tax plan that is Clinton in nature".

I'll admit that I find 1 out 4 that are funny. The sad part is the other 3 out of 4 are meant to be funny but since I hack the English language in the same way as "W" I just look at the quote and say "That's what I would have said". I just sit there and wonder what is wrong with the quote.

Bottom-line, a gift like that would be more funny to someone actually smart enough to see the humor.

As I am typing this I have decided to do the following. I am going to take the calendar to work and put it on my desk. All my Chinese coworkers will read these and learn the English language from W. Just think, by the end of the year there might be 1 billion people abusing the English language as W and I do so well.